The Sun will come up tomorrow (though it will be a little earlier)

Like many of you, this weekend I took part in the annual rite of springing forward, though I have to admit that I don't spring forward like I used to. This years "springing" event was exceptionally bad for me in that I only got about an inch off of the ground, tripped on my way down, twisted an ankle and bumped my head. This was still better than my falling back event in November, which I'd rather just try and forget about. As I lay on the ground rubbing my head and massaging my ego; I began to ponder this silly tradition of ours.

My ponderings led me to an interesting thought that I'd like to share. It seems that we are now on Daylight Savings Time longer than we're on Standard Time. This makes me wonder, is Standard Time really standard? It seems to be more of the anomaly than the norm. Perhaps, Daylight Savings Time is the new Standard time. Of course, if it's the new Standard Time, than what is the Old Standard time? If we do decide to move forward with this new nomenclature, then maybe "Old Standard Time" should be called "Daylight Spent Time", since we've used up all our daylight during the "New Standard Time" which leaves us in the dark from November through February. This is especially true in the northern climes, as anyone who lives up north will attest. Those months can be pretty bleak and since we've never actually been able to develop an effective means of saving, storing, and redistributing sunlight during this dark period, I feel the new wording is therefore doubly apt.

I think this new arrangement would also reflect the modern American trend of spending more than we earn. If we can spend more money than we earn, then why not spend more sunlight than we receive? In truth we've been running a net sunlight deficit for years, but we've been fooling ourselves into thinking that we're saving. In reality our trade deficit with the Sun is out of control. The Sun continues to manufacture and send light to the earth without opening it's markets to Earth based light manufacturers. According to recent scientific reports, if this trend continues the Sun's reserves will become so massive that within ten to fifteen billion years it will expand to such an extent that it will absorb the Earth. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, that this will lead to a loss of our sovereignty. In order to combat this threat to our freedom, I believe our government should sends our top ambassadors to meet with the Sun's government to work to break down these trade barriers. In the mean time, I think we should all do our part by consuming more Earth based light products and cutting down on our use of solar imports. Once they see that we're going domestic, they'll be forced to negotiate a fairer trade pact.