Where in the store is Carmen San Diego?

I was perusing the aisles of a rather large local store, i.e. Wal-Wart, recently; looking for a rather obscure bit of merchandise when an idea came to me. Wouldn't it be nice if the store could tell you where everything is? Now unfortunately stores are currently unable to talk, which leaves only the workers within the store to assist us. This can be somewhat problematic because the workers are often as lost and confused as we are. This is explain in Franz Smith's theory of really big stores which states that the size of the store is inversely proportional to a store employee's willingness and ability to assist shoppers. It should be noted that willingness and ability are variables and not fixed within a set ratio, however; per the law, both desires can't be high at the same time, while it is possible for both to be low and in some extreme cases to both equal zero. Unfortunately for me Wal-Mart is very much effected by this malady, it being a large store. I endeavored therefore to find a way to circumvent this natural barrier by appealing directly to the store for help. I had time to ponder all of this because my wanderings about were unfortunately in vain. I never did find what I was looking for, but as with most futile quest, I came away learning something that I hadn't set out to find. This of course begs the question that if the quest really was futile, would I have been able to come away with something that is useful? This is something else to ponder, but at a later date. For now I'll return to the discussion at hand.

I think it would be nice if stores would create a digital map of their floors and as they place inventory on the floor have it automatically tell the map where the item was placed. I think this could be done with a few tweaks to current inventory practices. We already have bar codes on everything, and products are already scanned into databases in order to keep track of what's where. I'm just proposing an additional layer. Once this inventory map of the store is completed, it should be automatically updated every time a worker scans a new product onto the floor. Now at this stage, I've created extra work for the employees without actually helping the consumers or the store. So far this plan would only seem to help depress the "willingness to help" variable within the equation. However, if my full plan comes to fruition, Franz's law will no longer be applicable, though we will need to continue to consider the ramifications of these changes in relation to Thompson's laws of checkout line dynamics, but that's for another time.

Now, to give the store its voice! In order to do this the store's inventory floor map will have to be accessible and searchable. I believe these technologies already exist, but I don't now what they are or where to find them. My solution to this, like most things is to Google it, or just turn directly to Google for help. I think the most convenient method would be something that would allow someone to pick up their web enabled cell phone or PDA (no not that PDA! The data assistant kind.), pull up the store's plan and do a search for what they're looking for. Imagine if you were in Wal-Mart looking for say, multi-colored toothpicks, and you couldn't find them. You pull out your phone/PDA and load the store map. Then you do a Google Local Store Map search and it tells you they're on aisle seventy-two and gives you a picture of the store plan with a dot showing you where on the aisle it is, plus which side. Think of the convenience! We could expand the whole Google Maps engine to the local store level! Instead of street view, we could have aisle view. We could use GPS tracking to show where you are in the store. You could even enter your shopping list ahead of time and have your phone alert you if you passed something so that you don't have to go back for it. You could even use the map to optimize your route ahead of time. Think of the time you'll save if you use the real time traffic update info to reroute around jams and slow moving traffic. I think the applications for this kind of technology are limitless! Of course, we'll have to implement security measures in order to keep this technology out of the hands of terrorists, but I think we're up to the challenge. The risks are worth the rewards that we stand to reap if we're successful in deploying these new techniques.

Sweet home Chicago!

Alright, so I had a bit of a random thought on my way home from church, and since this site is dedicated to my random thoughts I thought I would share it, which may or may not be random in it's own way. So I was on my way home, imbued with the Spirit of God and all that and I thought to myself, "How cool would it be to see a musical version of the Blues Brothers?" Now I don't know if there has ever been a stage production of the Blues Brothers, this being a random thought that popped into my head, I haven't had time to research the subject; but I think it would be fantastic to see that story portrayed on stage. I think the really difficult part would be how to present all of the chase scenes. The chases are a major part of the story and I'm not sure how you'd be able to wreck hundreds of police cars as you race through downtown Chicago. Of course, I don't need to figure that out. I'm not the special effects guy. I think that someone on Broadway could figure it out, they're pretty smart. I think the rest of the story would translate well to a stage performance. The movie is a musical after all.

I'm putting you on Notice

I would like to begin by apologizing for my long blogging abstinence. I have a fairly good string of excuses for it, however, and if you'll indulge me I'll delineate them from the beginning. Of course if you don't want to indulge me you might want to skip down a bit and not read the rest of this paragraph. When last I wrote I was at my sister's home in Arizona along ole venerable Route 66 (pronounced like root sixty-six). That little trip in March sort of knocked me out of my rhythm. So that covers the first little bit of April. However, my life was about to be altered drastically. Sometime in April, I don't remember quite when, I started having some problems with my computer. I had recently converted to Linux because I lost my copy of Windows XP when my hard drive died and my computer is not capable of running Vista which is probably a blessing in disguise, though a thinly veiled one at that. I was able to replace my hard drive, but it seems like the problems went much deeper. Long story short, my ThinkPad is now more of a ComaPad. I'm currently writing on a borrowed computer which brings me to the reason why I've delayed my blogging ways. You see, I just hate this keyboard I'm using. I'm so used to my ThinkPad's keyboard, that now I find it a pain to go back to a desktop style. It might help if the keyboard I'm using was a nice one, but it's not. It's old and some of the keys stick and half of the spacebar has lost it's springiness making it a little more difficult to produce space's on the page, and as you can see I use the spacebar profusely as would anyone else in my situation. As a side note, I think it's very annoying that my spell checker insists that spacebar is two words. I, however, contend that it is one word, and I'm not going to let a computer tell me otherwise. Of course if any of you would like to comment on the one word, two word controversy feel free, just know that I'm stubborn. Anyway, getting back to my monologue, to sum everything up, I haven't been blogging because it's somewhat inconvenient at the moment. The problem is that some of you don't think that's a good enough excuse and have told me as much, so I've decided to force myself back into the habit.


For my first blog back, I've decided to share a sight with you that I had while I was visiting my sister. I had asked a dear friend of mine for some feedback concerning this here blog of mine. She said that it was nice, but that she would like to see some pictures because she says, and I quote, "One thing I love about blogs is that they are totally voyeuristic." With that in mind I will totally present for you're amusement a sight I had while visiting Disney's California Adventure. I went there with my sister and her family, partly to celebrate my birthday and partly because my sister wanted another adult along to help with the kids on a family vacation. Unfortunately she was sorely mistaken in my adulthood, being somewhat misled by the numbers on my birth certificate. Anyway, it was late and I was standing in line for the roller coaster, California Scream, with my two nephews when I saw the following sign:





I thought to myself, "that would make for a great CD cover, especially if the name of your band is 'Notice!'" Now I don't mean the paper art stuff. I mean that this image would be really cool if it was printed on the top of the disk. I also think the wording is somewhat profound in a 90's alternative emo rocker sort of way. It kind of reaches out and says, "pass the Cheetos, man."